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All those who know me will know that I seldomly share my heartfelt feelings with them. I always believe that no one should see how I look deep down inside. It's very easy for me to be smiling, but it is also very easy for me to break down as well. All it needs is just a trigger point.
Honest to say, I have actually been down for the past few months. So much things has happened to my family, but all in all, I brushed it of with a smile. Just a few more years, just hang on. You have survived a decade, you definitely survive another few decades more. Or so I thought? It has really been a very tough period for me, and it is still happening. The days you hid under your blanket in fear, the moments you just wanted to cry out loud, the days you just wanted to be independent and have a house of your own. All these seems so distant, but how to live to that moment?
Its not that I'm unwilling to share, but how many can understand the circumstances I'm in and the problems I face?
Its really hard to show all these out, because it's just simply not me. I always believe everyone should smile all day long, as no one is to be deprived of a happy life. I always splurge on my loved ones, just to see their smiles. You'll hardly see me splurge for my own leisure purposes. Im very tired of sadness and sorrow, quarrels and Bickerings. I'm just stuck all the way at the bottom of the pit. Not wanting to climb back up. If the day for me to spiral down further ever comes (or has it already arrived?), I foresee myself to fall further in, soon to drown in the world of humanity. All hope is gone, but I will still be smiling even as I drown...
With the moments I have left before I completely break down, I am going to go all out, to plant a smile on faces, and to strive for them. There is simply no more "I" in my life.
Honest to say, I have actually been down for the past few months. So much things has happened to my family, but all in all, I brushed it of with a smile. Just a few more years, just hang on. You have survived a decade, you definitely survive another few decades more. Or so I thought? It has really been a very tough period for me, and it is still happening. The days you hid under your blanket in fear, the moments you just wanted to cry out loud, the days you just wanted to be independent and have a house of your own. All these seems so distant, but how to live to that moment?
Its not that I'm unwilling to share, but how many can understand the circumstances I'm in and the problems I face?
Its really hard to show all these out, because it's just simply not me. I always believe everyone should smile all day long, as no one is to be deprived of a happy life. I always splurge on my loved ones, just to see their smiles. You'll hardly see me splurge for my own leisure purposes. Im very tired of sadness and sorrow, quarrels and Bickerings. I'm just stuck all the way at the bottom of the pit. Not wanting to climb back up. If the day for me to spiral down further ever comes (or has it already arrived?), I foresee myself to fall further in, soon to drown in the world of humanity. All hope is gone, but I will still be smiling even as I drown...
With the moments I have left before I completely break down, I am going to go all out, to plant a smile on faces, and to strive for them. There is simply no more "I" in my life.
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