Communication
Allow me to write this post when I'm on the way to work for internship!
Over the weekend, two separate incidents gave me a new insight into this simple word that most leaders will say, is key to the success of almost any relationships, regardless whether it is that of family members or workmates.
Incident 1:
I was on bus 985 to Choa Chu Kang when it was reaching the interchange. A family of four boarded at the last stop prior to the interchange, which was also quite a few junctions away. You know how those new wheelchair buses have those backrests? The son went to lean on it once he boarded the bus. His sister and parents boarded after him, but the sister is also interested in leaning on the backrest. She leaned on it, and requested her brother to move aside for her to lean fully on the backrest. Reason being?
"I've reserved it!"
Of course, the brother didn't budge, and instead nudged her with his right elbow in a bid to shove her away. The mother saw the incident and said loudly "Come here! There is no such thing as reserved!"
I do not vividly recall the details following this, but I do recall the girl crying so loudly that the whole bus is able to hear it, and her mother just said, "You better stop now."
Throughout that short journey, the last member of the family, the father, didn't talked at all.
Incident 2:
Some of my closer friends will know that I collect bus service guides, better known as those bus paper as a common term. Some view it as a obsession, some understand I take it as a hobby. However, that's not the main point!
So yesterday, I went with my friend (he's only Secondary 2 by the way) to an interchange in the West (where everything was green, literally). I shall not name them, even though it should be pretty obvious.
He wanted to help me because their holder for those paper is more of a dispenser type to deter hoggers from clearing them. He went to the office and told the Indian Man that he couldn't reach the paper (because it was at the top of the dispenser - there were different dates at the bottom). I did tell him to not approach them as it is not part of their duties to help people like us who collect leisurely. But somehow, the man did come out with the keys to the holder.
Now, he came to the holders and asked my friend which holder is "jammed" - this is his perception of my friends request which is slightly different from the original request.
When he found out about it, his attitude changed and scolded him for lying. He even mentioned that it was the second time my friend had committed this kind of similar act and said he will lodge an official police report the next time this happens.
The truth? My friend hasn't even seen this particular interchange supervisor before.
**Disclaimer: This are all witnessed from my point of view, and does not represent any of the characters mentioned in the above mentioned examples."
This post is not to shame anyone or blame anyone for their actions taken in both cases. I believed that any experience is a good way to learn and apply what we have learnt over the years of education we received.
Taking the first example, the father could have asserted his control and communicated the idea of sharing. After all, the backrest is not meant for us to hoard in the first place! The mother isn't wrong in telling her daughter that nothing is reserved, but the mother has to justify that statement so that the daughter understands the logic behind her response.
Second example, miscommunication at it's finest. However, according to your organisation, you have to love people to be a interchange supervisor. By not getting your facts right and pointing and raising your voice at him, to the extent of slapping a possible police report at him, I will say you need to return to practising emotional stability and not jump to conclusions. Again I emphasise, this is not against you, but more of a learning opportunity to learn how to handle barriers to two - way communication.
Miscommunication can always lead to a different perception of how people view you, and often this results in conflicts. What we can learn is to establish clearer forms of communication which is all the more important if you are talking to a party for the first time.
*** This post is based on my own observations and thoughts, and does not represent any organisations or entities ***
Over the weekend, two separate incidents gave me a new insight into this simple word that most leaders will say, is key to the success of almost any relationships, regardless whether it is that of family members or workmates.
Incident 1:
I was on bus 985 to Choa Chu Kang when it was reaching the interchange. A family of four boarded at the last stop prior to the interchange, which was also quite a few junctions away. You know how those new wheelchair buses have those backrests? The son went to lean on it once he boarded the bus. His sister and parents boarded after him, but the sister is also interested in leaning on the backrest. She leaned on it, and requested her brother to move aside for her to lean fully on the backrest. Reason being?
"I've reserved it!"
Of course, the brother didn't budge, and instead nudged her with his right elbow in a bid to shove her away. The mother saw the incident and said loudly "Come here! There is no such thing as reserved!"
I do not vividly recall the details following this, but I do recall the girl crying so loudly that the whole bus is able to hear it, and her mother just said, "You better stop now."
Throughout that short journey, the last member of the family, the father, didn't talked at all.
Incident 2:
Some of my closer friends will know that I collect bus service guides, better known as those bus paper as a common term. Some view it as a obsession, some understand I take it as a hobby. However, that's not the main point!
So yesterday, I went with my friend (he's only Secondary 2 by the way) to an interchange in the West (where everything was green, literally). I shall not name them, even though it should be pretty obvious.
He wanted to help me because their holder for those paper is more of a dispenser type to deter hoggers from clearing them. He went to the office and told the Indian Man that he couldn't reach the paper (because it was at the top of the dispenser - there were different dates at the bottom). I did tell him to not approach them as it is not part of their duties to help people like us who collect leisurely. But somehow, the man did come out with the keys to the holder.
Now, he came to the holders and asked my friend which holder is "jammed" - this is his perception of my friends request which is slightly different from the original request.
When he found out about it, his attitude changed and scolded him for lying. He even mentioned that it was the second time my friend had committed this kind of similar act and said he will lodge an official police report the next time this happens.
The truth? My friend hasn't even seen this particular interchange supervisor before.
**Disclaimer: This are all witnessed from my point of view, and does not represent any of the characters mentioned in the above mentioned examples."
This post is not to shame anyone or blame anyone for their actions taken in both cases. I believed that any experience is a good way to learn and apply what we have learnt over the years of education we received.
Taking the first example, the father could have asserted his control and communicated the idea of sharing. After all, the backrest is not meant for us to hoard in the first place! The mother isn't wrong in telling her daughter that nothing is reserved, but the mother has to justify that statement so that the daughter understands the logic behind her response.
Second example, miscommunication at it's finest. However, according to your organisation, you have to love people to be a interchange supervisor. By not getting your facts right and pointing and raising your voice at him, to the extent of slapping a possible police report at him, I will say you need to return to practising emotional stability and not jump to conclusions. Again I emphasise, this is not against you, but more of a learning opportunity to learn how to handle barriers to two - way communication.
Miscommunication can always lead to a different perception of how people view you, and often this results in conflicts. What we can learn is to establish clearer forms of communication which is all the more important if you are talking to a party for the first time.
*** This post is based on my own observations and thoughts, and does not represent any organisations or entities ***
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