Drowning~

Hi all, has been awhile..
I'm probably writing this with a half-hearted mind, as I have already been considering whether to make this post for the past few weeks. If it wasn't for the PC lesson yesterday, most the update wouldn't have been here today.
Let's just start off with something simple:
When was the last time you actually went back into thinking like a child? When was the last time you fell out of love?
All these seemingly "simple" questions, or so I thought, came back to haunt me after learning all those defense mechanisms your mind does to you. I went off to the restroom with heavy footsteps, as bits and pieces of history came together in my mjnd to unfold all those bad and evil things I have done. All those hatred, love and jealousy, the days weeping away alone and the days raging off the meter, everything just overwhelmed  me. But, I didn't show it. Took the same heavy steps back to class, and entered being my "usual" self.
Denial, reaction formation, regression, repression. All these terms made sense at the back of my brain, all those memories that scarred more than one being.
I guess, being all along to myself is still the best decision after all.

-pig-
09 May 2015

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