Ryan 子彬's Blog!!! ^^

Wew, two presentations down in a week! So glad that its all over for those, since the guys really placed in a lot of effort to make it a funny skit presentation. For both modules, as only our group only consists of guys, we went a little extreme and crossdress... Of course the effect and laughter was there, but that isn't the main point hahaha After one of the presentations, the lecturer mentioned that sometimes, we as humans tend to overlook some features or actions we are ever so used to doing or mentioning. Why that statement? Well its because.. I impersonated her HAHAHAHA. But that comment didn't kicked in until I felt the full force of it today. You see, I never knew how people thought of me, because no one has ever came up to me, saying "oh you are too close for comfort", "you are freaking me out" or sorts. Not even in the young amd reckless days back in Secondary School. It is pretty sad to see someone saying that about me, but I guessed I deserve...

I have been drafting articles more frequently recently because I don't have a place to vent out all these frustration I had, both personal and school-wise. Well, if you happen to come across this and am thinking, "Hey, why have not you thought about me!" It's most probably because I didn't want to trouble any of you who passes by here. As most of you who have known me, you should know that I am the type of person who is extremely unwilling to make people worry for me.  On to the main topic, I was intrigued to write this article after realising how a day of events passes by in a flash. Nowadays, the emphasis is on rushing, rushing to get work done, rushing for the train, bus class, whatever it is. We have learnt to do things faster and to make things more efficient, even I myself am awed by my personal performance. I always have friends and my brothers who complained that I walk too fast to the extent that my leg barely touches the group before the other leg rises...

Somehow, thoughts and ideas only flow for me mostly when it's late into the night, and all that is accompanying me is nothing but silence. (Save for a few occasional snores) I have always thought I have had it all, and that nothing could be worse than what I had experienced before. Gruelling punishments, spiteful scoldings and heartbreaking quarrels, been there done that. However, one thing stays on, and that is on maintaining a stand between work and personal relationships. As friends, you joke around, you play around, it's alright, it's perfectly fine. But, when it comes to doing work, I normally expect high performance and quality work. There is a reason why we are given that amount of time to do work, I do not get the reason why some drag to the last moment to get things done. Is it me who is aiming too high? Or is it they who are not pushing hard enough? All that I know is, I'm tired. I have never felt as tired as this can get. "Just a few months more, you can...

For some of my loyal readers (if there's any hahahaha) here, you would have noticed the changes in blog links and names, I will touch on the part of names that I used to sign off with from then till now. T-Ryan zibinx Ryan zibin I might have touched on "T-ryan" before, where it sounds like a dinosaur name somehow. It was one of my earlier crushes I would say, and the name was coined by a mutual friend of ours, it lasted for a year or two in Lower Secondary before it evolved into the next name. For T, she is now overseas studying, happily attached. I wish the couple best of luck. zibinx was one of the longest sign off names that I have used, spanning over 4 to 5 years. It started off after I decided to chase someone I had wrongfully letten go of. There was a struggle because I am sure she had lost trust in me back then. Thenafter, someone was promoted to her class from the Normal Stream. They became close and somehow we started drifting apart again. We remain frie...

By pure chance or luck, I bumped into her today. Both of us exchanged shocked eye contact with those expanded eyes of ours, as we walk off in our respective directions. Took a glance back after a while, seeing that backview of hers fading into the crowd, I recalled the moment I saw you by chance. The happy, but shocked feeling, the inability to even say a proper hello and just gasping away. Somehow, I started to stutter even moments after the brief meeting. It might have lasted less than a few seconds, but the shock lingers on. Ryan zibin 7 July 2016

Wow, time really flies, a week has already passed since school reopened. I think I will skip the normal stuff about what happens in school and stuff since that will probably bore you guys out haha. Well, results wise, 2 papers left to collect, and 2 papers collected, but well what's done is done! You cannot undo things once it's done isn't it? Careless mistakes are called that name for a reason.. I wonder if it's fate on my side or fate playing with me, this semester we only had 3 modules that we have combined lectures and lectures are back to back, which meant lesser interactions with other classes. Well.. not many will know, but there is this negativity in me nowadays which I somehow can't swing off. I don't know if it's due to things happening at home, or school, or my life or a combination of all. However, I can at least safely say it has not bring upon an emotional breakdown as of yet. [Yeh I am still surviving on the outside, smiling and caring as a...