Solved (Part II) + Self Consolation

Somehow, thoughts and ideas only flow for me mostly when it's late into the night, and all that is accompanying me is nothing but silence. (Save for a few occasional snores)
I have always thought I have had it all, and that nothing could be worse than what I had experienced before. Gruelling punishments, spiteful scoldings and heartbreaking quarrels, been there done that. However, one thing stays on, and that is on maintaining a stand between work and personal relationships.
As friends, you joke around, you play around, it's alright, it's perfectly fine. But, when it comes to doing work, I normally expect high performance and quality work. There is a reason why we are given that amount of time to do work, I do not get the reason why some drag to the last moment to get things done.
Is it me who is aiming too high? Or is it they who are not pushing hard enough? All that I know is, I'm tired. I have never felt as tired as this can get. "Just a few months more, you can do it!" Is what that is consistently ringing on my mind now. I know that its just a month away, but the current "gift" of FYP presentation to me is.. Urgh.
My friends always commented on how I will go home so early and not hang out late into the night oftenly like some, or even trying out clubbing and stuff. Well, If I had the urge or desire to do so, I would had done it much earlier isn't it? For me, other than personal reasons, I never liked hanging out late at all. I would rather bask in the sun then to do stargazing under the clear night sky. Darkness has always given me a sort of fear, something I had never, ever told anyone. I can stand being alone, but I can never stand being in the dark. 
Besides, not everyone has the privilege to hang out late. I used to have that privilege deprived due to strict upbringing, but even till today where this privilege is freely available to me, I still have the habit of informing my parents if I am coming home late.
What are your views of darkness? Share with me if you wish, I'm there to listen.

Ryan zibin
15 Jul 2016

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