Ryan 子彬's Blog!!! ^^

 I once told a University friend that, If I revisit this blog someday to write, it would probably be due to the fact that I am hitting my emotional threshold. For some reason, I feel really, really tired. I cannot seem to put a definite term to it, but it just felt like, I needed a break from all these human matters, and this was what the purpose of this blog is. A space for me to express and vent my thoughts. After 9 years, this quiet spot still serves the inner kid in me well. I feel so much better after penning a few words, and I definitely hope that this blog will continue to exist so that I still have my safe space to my inner world. 加油子彬！ Ryan Zibin 10 Mar 2021

（抱歉，麻烦那些华文阅读障碍的朋友们，就得靠网上翻译器来读这篇了！）   不知不觉中，时光已冲冲。   当了1年10个月的啊兵哥，终于即将退伍了。   这段即费力又费时，却吃力不讨好的工作，造就了我这两年来的集体美好回忆。 但，这两年，也失去了两位在这段时间中可说是情同手足的好兄弟，好战友。   还记得初次踏进基本军事训练时，心里是多么的坎坷。慢慢地，我学会了基本战术，也当起了在部队里为人 “妈妈” 的责任。时间回到现在，2019 年得五月，我已是一名三级上士，带领着我的兵士们，过关斩将，连闯本地和外地的辽阔草原。   我未必是个好的领导人，但是， 我尽我全力，来开发他们的才能与领导能力。   那有些读者就会问起往后的打算。。。我只能说，随缘吧！   有时间再与你们继续分享心得。 -Ryan 子彬- 2019年5月2日

无奈，等待。 Time is running out. Every visit I made, the heart wrenching moments just multiply in numbers. Why must it end this way? I always blamed myself, for not being there for her when it happened, not taking care of her well enough, and spending too less time with her. It really aches my heart to see her like this, while she places her trademark smile whenever we visit her over the weekends. No one understands me. All will tell me that it’s just part and parcel of life, but is it?

And... we have arrived at the end of another year! This was really an eventful year for me, regardless of life in or outside of camp. The urge to type down my thoughts and encounters is there. But I can hardly squeeze the time to do so, given the fact that I probably sleep less than 7 hours these days in camp. Fret not though, I have the rest of the year to ponder about my future direction to head in.. time did fly by, fast enough to be left with 4 months, but slow enough for me to realise that there are not many people I can confide in. The working world is a double edged sword of its own, scale with caution or face some action, noone’s gonna save you from the brutal truth. The nature of my work now bars me from saying much, but I’ve downloaded my Ask.fm again for you guys out there to ask me stuff! Meanwhile, let me think of how I am going to type down my thoughts.. till then, https://ask.fm/Ry4nLimP3i -Ryan 子彬- 17 Dec 2018

你，还好吗？ 有一段时间没问候了。 现在，相信你在大学，已找到属于你的一片天，你喜爱的活动。或许，你也找到了其余伴侣。 七年了，这么久的时间，却有着一个傻瓜，至今还傻乎乎地忙着，试图把重复摔碎的碎片黏回。 有些话，很难以文字写下。但是，过去式，已无法挽回。只能继续，往前走。 -ryan zibin- 22 January 2018

Hi Guys, Back after a long while, this time months into my life in green. I enlisted into the army a few months back, and I pretty much havnt had time to talk much about it, because you know, there isn’t even time to start of with. The regimental lifestyle is not much of an issue for me, it’s how the people you meet are able to gel together to get stuff down. So far, my journey in has seen the same results across the places I am attached to, resulting in unnecessary conflicts and auch. However, I believe that time runs out for everyone, you can dislike the person today, but when the person turns out to be of a good leader in the future, the past will be back to haunt. Can’t divulge much either for the fear of slapped charges, but all’s well, I believe time will fly by quickly. -ryan zibin- 7 November 2017

How time flies, this blog has been around for 5 years! Up till now, this small frame of free writing at least is still a place for me to freely express my thoughts and feelings. Thank you for the support for those who do pop by once in a while to see me pen down my nonsensical thoughts, as well for the times I really needed an avenue to vent some emotions. Well for these time, time really flies as titled. I'm arriving at the last week of my internship!! It was an eventful time with my attached organisation I must say, I get to come into all aspects of different functions related to my course. It was also there where I get to see examples of the meaning "People come, people go". I am a sentimental person for those who know me, people who I have met and had a chance to know them better, chances are I will be emotionally attached to them as friends. Therefore it's really sad when you have to see people leave. However, I have gotten myself to suppress these feelings ...

Allow me to write this post when I'm on the way to work for internship! Over the weekend, two separate incidents gave me a new insight into this simple word that most leaders will say, is key to the success of almost any relationships, regardless whether it is that of family members or workmates. Incident 1: I was on bus 985 to Choa Chu Kang when it was reaching the interchange. A family of four boarded at the last stop prior to the interchange, which was also quite a few junctions away. You know how those new wheelchair buses have those backrests? The son went to lean on it once he boarded the bus. His sister and parents boarded after him, but the sister is also interested in leaning on the backrest. She leaned on it, and requested her brother to move aside for her to lean fully on the backrest. Reason being? "I've reserved it!" Of course, the brother didn't budge, and instead nudged her with his right elbow in a bid to shove her away. The mother saw the in...

"Age is but a number" What's with age this time round! Long story cut short, I met another part timer at an event I was at today. She is in Uni year 1 and I'm in poly year 3 as some of you will know. I was talking to her after her friend finshed work and the rest of her colleagues are occupied with the event. We belong to different companies but we were assigned with another two of our part timers also. I found out that she was Uni year 1 as mentioned above, that's when she remarked that I'm "so young" because I was in poly year 3. Well, I told her that there is only at most 2 years of difference between the both of us, which she agreed. [Sadly didnt managed to get either instagram or mobile number :( ] Back to topic, how does it relate? I always thought that age is just a number, nothing more to it. However, to some, it might matter a lot to them in the form of searching for their significant other. I recall a time where I was staying back in s...

Hello all!  I am finally back after my previous post, finally have the time to type my thoughts down, probably because I am down with flu haha, otherwise I do not think I will have the mood to write. If some of you here recall, I tend to write my posts in the wee hours of the morning, as that is the time I will have the most "feel" to write. Anyway, I have so many things to pen down, but let me start off with school life first, before carrying on with other things. Currently, 2 weeks of school life have almost passed, with 4 weeks more before internship! For those who are wondering, I only have 6 weeks of school this semester before I will embark on a 3 months internship. However, I still have to clear 2 modules beforehand, and these projects are already taking a toll despite my group's progress. I don't know if it's me, but I feel very tired of heading to school. I don't know if its due to the long semestral break before or the compact timetable we have no...

Hi all, sorry to keep you all waiting! I actually had much to comment on over the past few weeks with events I saw, but I was pretty much tired to blog because I was really, really tired from so many activities like camp, training for 2.4 and so on. Do give me time to slowly update it again as I also need time to sort my thoughts out as well! (Yes, alot of mindsets changed, stay tuned!) Ryan zibin 28 October 2016

Hello! This post would have came much earlier if I was not too worried of my grades for exams hahaha.. But I did it! I PASSED A MATHS WOOHOO~  I never expected a C+ grade (which translates to the range of 65-69 points out of 100) because I really thought I was going to re-module it. The paper was so tough but I tried my best to fill up all the questions and left no blanks. Results aside, I actually had so many things to update, but with the passing of time I actually forgotten some things I wanted to type. Oh well, let's just take it one step at a time, shall we? Firstly, Internship. I signed up for an interview session with an organisation (let's just name it as H) which was looking for interns doing HRIS, basically a computerised system of Human Resource Functions. Long story cut shout, I did not make the cut. However, what one of the interviewers remarked during the interview did gave me a new insight into my future. He said " You should be training and developm...

Hello guys, I am so sorry for the absence (if anyone is actually waiting for a post!) Was busy with Final Year Project and preparation of Examinations.  At least for now, FYP is done! Wow, that project alone took away most of my nights compiling slides and report and those meetings to correct my presentation skills. So tired of it but still hanged onto it!  Now moving into the main point of this post! I recently celebrated (or probably meant quietly passed) my 19th Birthday this week. Thank you for those who sent your well wishes! I was awaiting in anticipation for something to happen, but it didn't in the end. Oh well, the day passes by like any other day other! Just today, I accompanied a family member to a clinic. At the clinic, we were awaiting our time to consult the doctor when a father and daughter duo. I swear the father was probably too uptight or he was strict with his daughter who seemed like she is in primary school only. The father was scolding hi...

Wew, two presentations down in a week! So glad that its all over for those, since the guys really placed in a lot of effort to make it a funny skit presentation. For both modules, as only our group only consists of guys, we went a little extreme and crossdress... Of course the effect and laughter was there, but that isn't the main point hahaha After one of the presentations, the lecturer mentioned that sometimes, we as humans tend to overlook some features or actions we are ever so used to doing or mentioning. Why that statement? Well its because.. I impersonated her HAHAHAHA. But that comment didn't kicked in until I felt the full force of it today. You see, I never knew how people thought of me, because no one has ever came up to me, saying "oh you are too close for comfort", "you are freaking me out" or sorts. Not even in the young amd reckless days back in Secondary School. It is pretty sad to see someone saying that about me, but I guessed I deserve...

I have been drafting articles more frequently recently because I don't have a place to vent out all these frustration I had, both personal and school-wise. Well, if you happen to come across this and am thinking, "Hey, why have not you thought about me!" It's most probably because I didn't want to trouble any of you who passes by here. As most of you who have known me, you should know that I am the type of person who is extremely unwilling to make people worry for me.  On to the main topic, I was intrigued to write this article after realising how a day of events passes by in a flash. Nowadays, the emphasis is on rushing, rushing to get work done, rushing for the train, bus class, whatever it is. We have learnt to do things faster and to make things more efficient, even I myself am awed by my personal performance. I always have friends and my brothers who complained that I walk too fast to the extent that my leg barely touches the group before the other leg rises...

Somehow, thoughts and ideas only flow for me mostly when it's late into the night, and all that is accompanying me is nothing but silence. (Save for a few occasional snores) I have always thought I have had it all, and that nothing could be worse than what I had experienced before. Gruelling punishments, spiteful scoldings and heartbreaking quarrels, been there done that. However, one thing stays on, and that is on maintaining a stand between work and personal relationships. As friends, you joke around, you play around, it's alright, it's perfectly fine. But, when it comes to doing work, I normally expect high performance and quality work. There is a reason why we are given that amount of time to do work, I do not get the reason why some drag to the last moment to get things done. Is it me who is aiming too high? Or is it they who are not pushing hard enough? All that I know is, I'm tired. I have never felt as tired as this can get. "Just a few months more, you can...

For some of my loyal readers (if there's any hahahaha) here, you would have noticed the changes in blog links and names, I will touch on the part of names that I used to sign off with from then till now. T-Ryan zibinx Ryan zibin I might have touched on "T-ryan" before, where it sounds like a dinosaur name somehow. It was one of my earlier crushes I would say, and the name was coined by a mutual friend of ours, it lasted for a year or two in Lower Secondary before it evolved into the next name. For T, she is now overseas studying, happily attached. I wish the couple best of luck. zibinx was one of the longest sign off names that I have used, spanning over 4 to 5 years. It started off after I decided to chase someone I had wrongfully letten go of. There was a struggle because I am sure she had lost trust in me back then. Thenafter, someone was promoted to her class from the Normal Stream. They became close and somehow we started drifting apart again. We remain frie...

By pure chance or luck, I bumped into her today. Both of us exchanged shocked eye contact with those expanded eyes of ours, as we walk off in our respective directions. Took a glance back after a while, seeing that backview of hers fading into the crowd, I recalled the moment I saw you by chance. The happy, but shocked feeling, the inability to even say a proper hello and just gasping away. Somehow, I started to stutter even moments after the brief meeting. It might have lasted less than a few seconds, but the shock lingers on. Ryan zibin 7 July 2016

Wow, time really flies, a week has already passed since school reopened. I think I will skip the normal stuff about what happens in school and stuff since that will probably bore you guys out haha. Well, results wise, 2 papers left to collect, and 2 papers collected, but well what's done is done! You cannot undo things once it's done isn't it? Careless mistakes are called that name for a reason.. I wonder if it's fate on my side or fate playing with me, this semester we only had 3 modules that we have combined lectures and lectures are back to back, which meant lesser interactions with other classes. Well.. not many will know, but there is this negativity in me nowadays which I somehow can't swing off. I don't know if it's due to things happening at home, or school, or my life or a combination of all. However, I can at least safely say it has not bring upon an emotional breakdown as of yet. [Yeh I am still surviving on the outside, smiling and caring as a...

Phew, was really tired today after an intense exercise session. Went out with this best friend of mine today to run at the track surrounding the National Stadium. Somehow, I came in almost a full 3 minutes behind his time. Thenafter, when he was doing his planned set of pushups, he was saying how I wasn't like before because I get so tired nowadays. Oh well, havn't been exercising in awhile hahahah, should start my weekly running again.. This was an image that I had taken while at the tracks ( wanted to use it as an insta shot but nah, quite lazy to update insta nowadays hahahaha). I kind of like how the sunlight tries to shine through any gap, showcasing its everlasting glow. And this shot came after I left to take the bus at Kallang after our trip to Decathlon at Bedok. I always liked to take photos of sunlights because they tend to add some positivity to my life. I used to, probably still am striving to live a positive life, but there are always things in life that tr...