Ryan 子彬's Blog!!! ^^

  Today was quite a tiring day for me, having spent almost the whole day outdoors. School in the morning till afternoon, and dinner with the birthday boy! I certainly feel honored to be invited to this dinner as it really means alot to me.   Moving on, this whole week has been a really tiring week for me, mentally tiring. It all comes to the time of the year where people are slotted into groups for projects with whines and rejections everywhere. Oh well. At least it's settled for now.. I hope.   The struggle is back. At one point of time, I thought everything went downhill and we had lost touch of one another, but now after what we had recently been through, I really have no idea what I am doing with my life now. I did mention that I should embrace the single life, so am I seeing the wrong things in life? It really wasn't easy because that personal commitment set is still etched in my mind. Have I really found the correct one? Or it is all gonna just burn up in flames? ...

Time check, 0117hrs Oi, why aren't you asleep!! Well.. Because I am hungry and I just gobbled food down, which gave me time for thoughts and feelings to flow again. This time around, different friends popped out from my memory, as I was enjoying my late night supper (I do not usually take supper) As we grow older, we tend to go for courses and etcetera and so on. When we go for these events, it is bound for us to remember the people who helped to make these events possible and possibbly livelier. However, will you consider them your friends just based upon that one meeting that both of you have faced? Even so, how will the both of you meet up after that? Pure coincidence?  It might not make sense up there ^ , but thats what I usually think about. Some friends come, some friends go. Some even mastered the art of "unfriending" so well that you are always a new face to them. Some friends.. Well, once they grab hold of key benificiary details that benefit them, they will ...

  Back here after a long while! Sorry if my update came late.. I normally write when I have the inspiration to do so, therefore sometimes when I just do not have the feel to write, and there you have it, no posts. Anyway, back to topic!   Ajisen Ramen has been a longtime favourite of mine for solo dining - yup, eating alone. As much as I enjoy the freedom and peace of eating alone, I just cannot withstand the stares from fellow diners who are normally dining in pairs or groups. When you are dining alone, you just feel that everyone is staring at you.   I mean, it's not a crime to eat alone right? Just because I am eating alone does not necessarily mean that I am a introvert or someone who everybody shuns.   However, not all is bad about it. At least, now I know that I am slowly adapting into the single life club hahahaha~ Having the courage to eat alone is an achievement in SG okay!! ;^o^; Exploring alone, being all alone.. Just you and your earpiece. No frequent...

After a month of being inactive, I'm backkk~~ :D Those who know will know why it took me so long to get back here, but I just find this place a really good spot to pour out my feelings to, in this world of mine.. Anyway, back to updates, all that's left is to turn up for the exams! 2 papers only, so gonna work really hard for it! GPA needs a much needed boost. Secondly, congratulations to me for my birthday!!! *insert clapping sounds* [so nice of me to "celebrate" my birthday here LOL] Thanks everyone for the well wishes, as well as the gifts by all, especially the 10 of you, you know whoo~ really appreciate it. :) But... I don't know. It's probably one sided like what Heidi said, or that I expect too much. For the 24 hours of my special day, I was waiting for that one message from her.  Waking up came.. SIP came.. Going home came.. Cutting of cake came.. Nap time came.. No well wish from her. None. I wouldn't say it's her fault at all, but it's ju...

Hi all, back here after a long while.. was still running a fever earlier in the day hahaha, but the time I felt ready to write has arrived again.   All these weeks in school, I received the results for my papers, and honestly, I really felt unjustified at first for failing that paper. However, I told myself to move on, that I managed to write down the fundamentals and that's all it matters.   Was back in school on Friday for Speech day, and honestly I felt worried. I thought that I will see her again, but for some reason she wasn't there. Whether its a sigh of relief or disappointment, it doesn't matter. What matters is that both of us don't have to go through the sorrows again..   Don't really have much to write as I go on.. but I'm getting tired of rumours. Not that I know those people as well, and leave such a reputation. Once or twice is fine, just not continuous reminders. 我真的很累。不想去对付那些传言了。就随它吧。 -zibinx- 12th July 2015

  First week of holidays down, technically one week left to go, since I'm down for camp on the third week! Gosh, I really don't know how to describe this week other than it being eventful. There are just too many thoughts to process through and I still have schoolwork to do (Yes, your holidays are sometimes spent on schoolwork.. :(   I was feeling quite churned up within for the first few days of holiday, but we'll leave the details for later. All those emotions and decisions were all washed out when I heard that.... Wait for it... THE CORRS ARE REUNITING!! WOOHOO!!! OMG YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN!  They have always been a motivational pillar for me since primary school, where I was exposed to their 2001 hit single "Breathless". Their songs never fail to sort of guide me through highs and lows of my life, especially in Sec 2 with those common sensical, yet simple and meaningful lyrics. Here is part of the lyrics from breathl...

Firstly, let me just do a shoutout to fish!! Happy advanced birthday ~~ please grow up hahahah, nah just joking, I still depend on you to crack jokes for me!! Thank you so much for being there on the train when I needed a listening ear, as well as when we listened to music on the purple line together hahahaha! There are just too many things happening recently that I just have no idea where to start from.. Received a letter from 四嫂 that day through a mutual friend, and honestly speaking.. It doesn't make me feel any better. It just adds on to the bitterness and sadness that's slowly piling up as time goes by. It's really not that easy to just say goodbye at all. As I'm writing this post from a bus, I came across this group of foreign workers, who are painting the external walls of the flats we live in. These people might have never met in their lives before, but they are able to work together and gel well enough to call themselves "workmates". I really don'...

Hi all, has been awhile.. I'm probably writing this with a half-hearted mind, as I have already been considering whether to make this post for the past few weeks. If it wasn't for the PC lesson yesterday, most the update wouldn't have been here today. Let's just start off with something simple: When was the last time you actually went back into thinking like a child? When was the last time you fell out of love? All these seemingly "simple" questions, or so I thought, came back to haunt me after learning all those defense mechanisms your mind does to you. I went off to the restroom with heavy footsteps, as bits and pieces of history came together in my mjnd to unfold all those bad and evil things I have done. All those hatred, love and jealousy, the days weeping away alone and the days raging off the meter, everything just overwhelmed  me. But, I didn't show it. Took the same heavy steps back to class, and entered being my "usual" self. Denial, re...

Unusual for me to be blogging at this timing, but you know, the feel doesnt come as and when you deem! At the blink of an eye, school has already gone by it's first week.brand new modules, brand new year, but our class remains, good in my opinion. Now being in year 2, it is quite different from year 1.. just too different. Even I don't know how to put it in words. It just gets sick and tired when it comes to groupings.. Just gonna pull it through! No time for other affairs. Fortunately, there is the bunch of guys to help me out when I need somebody to talk to. She.. I don't know. zibinx 25 April 2015

Hi all,   doubt that I will continue with the misinterpretation topic for now, reason being as stated in the previous post, I don't wish to hurt that person further. There are 2 more stories on that topic actually, but nah, if you want to know about it, contact me.   Now, back to this post! I tend to think that love will be like what happens in those SG Dramas when I was young. I remember when I was in Primary 2, I actually asked my mom this on the way home, "Mummy, can I marry this girl called C?"   It doesn't take much knowledge to guess what the response is hahaha~ Back then, zero knowledge of love. Years in Primary School went by, few more headless crushes and there I was, graduated and in OSS. OSS was a brand new environment for me. I knew no one ( other than my bro ;o ), and that was exactly what I wanted, because I want a brand new start. New friends were made, but the maturity in mindsets, or should I say childishness bought me to the thought of finding a g...

  那天跟小妹出游的时候，无意中提到了“嫂子们”，that was when she said something that I failed to realise until the fourth one. She said this, " 哥，你不可以跟你的好朋友在一起，不然分手的时候会很尴尬！"   In English, it basically meant that I should get involved in a relationship with my best female friends.    How I wished that advice came earlier. It makes me a jerk to say all this now, because the damage has already been done, but at least, I am reflecting on the mistakes I made.    Two out of the four ended up that way. The first one was with 大嫂，or what some of my friends will know as "Beaver". It started off as a pure prank call, to joke that I had feelings for her( back in Sec 2, my brain probably wasn't functioning too well to understand thoughts and feelings yet). Then after,  to put it bluntly, I practically begged her to be my girlfriend despite her rejections ( Yes, shameless some will say.)   She eventually accepted me, but the feelings didn't last too long on my side, as I genuinely f...

  I wonder if it's just my one sided thinking, but I dont feel myself nowadays... That once determined thought of staying alone starts to crumble.. As much as I reinforce it, the recovery rate is much slower than the destruction rate.   Currently having holidays, been having a few part time jobs here and there, and spent some of those money on buying clothes for myself (I'm an avid shopper!)    Can't wait for results to be released, has been awhile since I became so worried over results..    Went back for NPCC Camp this week, had an enjoyable time with my cadets!    My "Guardpost" during camp hahaha~   I wanted to use the night during camp to write out this post, but I was probably too tired to do so, plus a few thoughts were hovering in my mind..   After camp, went to try out trampoline jumping for the first time! A pretty good workout   I would say, considering the amount of sweat produced!   Now for the usual last part,...

我，没力气走下去了。 每天面对着现实，却不敢面对它。 面对着迷惑，在现实中失去方向。 一个人过着单人世界还是最好的。

Im a guy who doesn't really take selfies actually. I tend to be more personal because I never really believe in the art of selfies. However, there will be times when you just wanna sort of YOLO for once behind the judgemental eyes, so here are some of those! Could be funny to some of you~ zibinx February 22 2015

Back to the time for zibinx to reflect again hahaha~ I don't know why but I just find it very relaxing at night, to discuss about the recent happenings in my life. The night sort of gave me the feeling that I have all the time I can get to slowly recall about the past.  Anyway, all presentations down!! Yayy, but 3 more papers to goo~ ;( (Somebody save me from drowning in the books of knowledge!!)  And that was probably it for school life.. For those readers who always catch up with my relationship statuses, well... Sorry to disappoint you guys again! Now's not really the right time to get into one either haha! As in, everyone has its comfort zone, and some might refuse to move out of it due to past experiences. I'm one of those. I managed to move out of the previous one, but it doesn't mean that I'm ready for a new one. I tend to see myself as a person who always makes the wrong decisions, which has always been the case, especially for major decisions. I really do n...

I guess the long night is the only way I can sort of calm myself down to "pen" my thoughts out. Let's start off with this pic from my now abandoned first blog: Let's go through the list to see if they did come true! 1) I guess I managed to make those important to me happy! 2) I don't know if this came true, too many choices in life man~  3) Not anymore LOL!  4) This was back then when I did quite badly for streaming in Sec 2.. It didn't come true because I still did badly in Sec 3 hahaha~ 5) I dont think this came true as well. I'm probably one of the most guilty conscious person around. 6) This sort of came true, I guess! 7) Came true 8) Both fell through, wasn't like how I am now in the past. 9) I guess I scored pretty decently! 10) Boy, an I glad that this didn't come true haha, if not I wouldnt get yo meet the person I'm seeing now. Thank god I was in this class. Those who know me well enough will know that I literally grumble at the most m...

First post of 2015! Let's start off with a resolution(s)! My resolution is: No relationships for this year! As much as I will like to get into one, I just have too many school work to do and other things than go 拍拖！😂  Another resolution is to ensure that I will make the people around me happy :) Poly life is so far so good! I continue to stand on the fence, be neutral about everything I see! Course got chio girls, but keep in mind my resolution up there! Do look through the album on the top right corner if you are looking from a lappy/ desktop! Will update it with more pictures soon! My first year in poly is also coming to an end soon~ will update about my experiences when I have the time!  zi b inx ，drop me a message if you see this sentence :)  Zibinx 21 January 2015